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Thu March 28, 2024
(KTUL Tulsa)
 
 
 
Headline: "Punxsutawney Phil and Phyllis welcome two baby groundhogs." Like all parents of newborn babies, Phil and Phyllis will experience six weeks of no sleep
source: ktul.com   |   share: Copy Link
 
(KSDK St. Louis)
 
 
 
The purge begins
source: ksdk.com   |   share: Copy Link
 
(The Mainichi (Japan))
 
 
 
Elderly man dies in freak escalator / suit-jacket accident at station
source: mainichi.jp   |   share: Copy Link
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
"Man, we've been experiencing total power failures on this rust-bucket for days. Do you think we should look into it?" "Nah, let's work it out on the high seas after we go under that bridge"
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Copy Link
 
(KRTV Great Falls)
 
 
 
Police arrest drunk man for driving the wrong way for 27 miles, though I don't see how they knew where he was trying to go
source: krtv.com   |   share: Copy Link
 
(Bellingcat)
 
 
 
In other 'loud white Conservative thumbs his nose at justice' news, Ammon Bundy has been hanging out in southwest Utah. Send snacks
source: bellingcat.com   |   share: Copy Link
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 986: "Pattern Recognition". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.com   |   share: Copy Link
 
Wed March 27, 2024
(9 News)
 
 
 
PSA, 2024 version: Always carry cigarettes, just in case
source: 9news.com   |   share: Copy Link
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
You bastard, you shot robotic Roscoe. Oh, Roscoe, robo-woof for me one last time, boy
source: apnews.com   |   share: Copy Link
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Brewing disappointment: Manchester's beer fest falls flat after Willy Wonka comparisons
source: bbc.com   |   share: Copy Link
 
(Fairfax Now)
 
 
 
Town of Herndon, Virginia takes a hit from deflation
source: ffxnow.com   |   share: Copy Link
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
The prophecies have come true, someone handed out their drugs for Halloween. Bonus: Judge says it could have lead to long term injury or death
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Copy Link
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Eco loo roll on the right - wap bam boogie. To everyone"s surprise - it's not bamboo
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Copy Link
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Photoshop this serious serve
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Copy Link
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
London dad ordered to pay £20,000 for going into neighbor's garden to get son's football. Fark: he's already paid out £40,000 in legal fees
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Copy Link
 
(US Postal Service)
 
 
 
Reminder: Don't lick the manatees. I mean, you can if you want to, but it won't do anything
source: about.usps.com   |   share: Copy Link
 
(NBC Philadelphia)
 
 
 
Parents these days really push their kids too hard. This six-month-old was promoted to manager of her day care, and her mom and dad still aren't happy
source: nbcphiladelphia.com   |   share: Copy Link
 
(Deadline)
 
NewsFlash
 
Washington mourns as 82 year old Joe dies following complications from a fall
source: deadline.com   |   share: Copy Link
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
600-year-old castle, complete with moat, unearthed in France. Fetchez la vache
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Copy Link
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Idling trains disrupt local life for residents of wealthy suburb who were too dumb to notice their homes were next to a train maintenance yard before moving in
source: forestparkreview.com   |   share: Copy Link
 
(KTUL Tulsa)
 
 
 
Who do you blame when your kid is a brat/Pampered and spoiled like a siamese cat/Blaming the kid is a lie and a shame/You know exactly who's to blame/The mother and the father/Now the kid is sitting in jail/Parents can't pay the $1 million bail
source: ktul.com   |   share: Copy Link
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
The British Museum is outraged that thousands of its artifacts have been stolen
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Copy Link
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: Breaking Spring
source: fark.com   |   share: Copy Link
 
(Some Bunny Guys)
 
 
 
Photoshop this colony of bunnies
source: townsquare.media   |   share: Copy Link
 
(Fark Fiction Anthology)
 
 
 
"There's nothing more powerful to a showrunner than a truly invested writer." -Vince Gilligan. See, that's why all my investments are in chemistry equipment and X-Files posters. This is your Fark Writer's Thread, Breaking Bad Edition
source: farkfiction.net   |   share: Copy Link
 
(The Gazette)
 
 
 
Your kids learn adulting from you, so if one gets sent home from school for whatever reason, you should set a good example and go talk to the principal. Next time, without your gun
source: thegazette.com   |   share: Copy Link
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
1) A huge farking boat hit a support pillar
source: cnn.com   |   share: Copy Link
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Seems like it would be the literal burning question on our minds if they are fake
source: msn.com   |   share: Copy Link
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Monkeypox is out of the bottle, man. Pandemic doesn't go back in the box, it only comes out
source: npr.org   |   share: Copy Link
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Utah "grief author" sets world record for most different methods used to try to kill her husband, who she killed. Good grief
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Copy Link
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
South Carolina doesn't understand money, should go back to beads and shells
source: apnews.com   |   share: Copy Link
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
In the mood for some rather unique slow TV today? The USS New Jersey Museum & Memorial is livestreaming the battleship's dry docking with special guest commentator Drachinifel
source: youtube.com   |   share: Copy Link
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Caption this recursion (and cat)
source: sunnyskyz.com   |   share: Copy Link
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
"So it's blow first, THEN hookers? Got it" (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Copy Link
 
(KUCI)
 
 
 
Today's 2-hour serving of '80s alt/post-punk/new wave music includes tunes from Killing Joke, The Jam, Alphaville, XTC, and Big Country. Hear what commercial radio doesn't sound like on pastFORWARD #592. Starts @ 1:00PM ET, LGT streaming options
source: kuci.org   |   share: Copy Link
 
(News4Jax)
 
 
 
Oh, the huge day
source: news4jax.com   |   share: Copy Link
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Online reviews of tomato puree. Serious business
source: cnn.com   |   share: Copy Link
 
(NL Times (Netherlands))
 
 
 
11 escape from their prison hours after arrival, described as intelligent, small, and furry
source: nltimes.nl   |   share: Copy Link
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Uh, it'll get shifted to other roads and tunnels and people will spend longer than normal getting where they want to get? Let me know if you need assistance with any other tough questions, Slate. Happy to help
source: slate.com   |   share: Copy Link
 
(Fox 4 News Dallas)
 
 
 
Is the Texas power grid ready for the upcoming solar eclipse? No
source: fox4news.com   |   share: Copy Link
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
New Brexit bonus: free contraceptives, antidepressants, and cocaine with every fish
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Copy Link
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Welp, someone won the $1.12 billion MegaMillions jackpot. Not you, though. You're too smart to play the lottery. Remind us of that to the right
source: npr.org   |   share: Copy Link
 
(IGN)
 
 
 
First person to get Neuralink uses it exactly as you think they would
source: ign.com   |   share: Copy Link
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Someone dying after jumping off a closed, dangerous bridge is a "tragic reminder" of why you should not jump off a closed, dangerous bridge
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Copy Link
 
(Architectural Digest)
 
 
 
Photoshop this urban garden
source: media.architecturaldigest.com   |   share: Copy Link
 
(WSMV Nashville)
 
 
 
Fiona (formerly Fergie) spent 11 of her 13 years in an Alabama shelter, but now she has a chance at finding a forever home thanks to the combined efforts of Wisconsin's Second Chance Shelter & Albert's Dog Lounge. Welcome to Woofday Wetnose Wednesday (w/video)
source: wsmv.com   |   share: Copy Link
 
(Lehigh Valley Live)
 
 
 
Ghostface wields chainsaw and knife and take out neighbor. No that's not the Scream 7 plot. Not yet anyway
source: lehighvalleylive.com   |   share: Copy Link
 
(Fox 21 Duluth)
 
 
 
Duluth MN billionaire: the mayor "peed in his Cheerios" for daring to ask about her plans for a demolished neighborhood. The mayor's response is... actually wholesome and delicious
source: fox21online.com   |   share: Copy Link
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
We live in a world where we have to tell people to escape submerged cars, not film themselves for The TikkityToks
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Copy Link
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Day 763 of WW3: "The massacre has increased existing anti-immigrant sentiment...especially towards migrant labourers from the predominantly Muslim countries of central Asia." Guess were most Orc troops are from. It's your Wednesday Ukraine war thread
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Copy Link
 
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